Thursday, December 31, 2009

Word of Face

I remember a line used by some comedian in the way back when. He said "I am responsible for spreading all the new jokes -- I know one sophomore in every high school in the country." Humor was simpler back then. But his point was clear -- to spread a piece of information like a joke required a human network and the youth, with its penchant for not shutting the heck up, is an effective tool for the passing of that data.

It seems to me that now, social networking like Facebook has become the new word of mouth. All those little lines, jokes and jabs that we would say around the water fountain and which would get into wider distribution only if someone in our peer group decided to repeat them (often to his own gain...attribution skills are sorely lacking amongst the younger set) can now be spread over the internet. I make a pun and instead of having to keep it to myself (which would often be the prudent course) I can tell the world so it can appreciate my brilliance. Computers, it has been said, make human contact unnecessary. They replace one grapevine with another more powerful one. I can force others to hear what I say instead of waiting for an opportunity when they are willing to listen.

Neat, huh?

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Oh, Anna

Do you think my cleaning woman knows that she has become the local bogey man, the threat by which we keep our children in mind? Right before she comes to clean, we tell the kids "you'd better clean up your stuff or Anna is going to come and clean it for you and you'll never see it again!" And eventually all I need to do is to hold up the book, paper, sneaker or such and look at the offending child and whisper "Anna's gonna get this." Soon, just the mention of the name "Anna" will be enough to get them to sanitize the house.

Is this wrong of me? Anna doesn't know that we harbor such deep feelings about her attempts to clean by stuffing everything in one drawer after she has finished folding the garbage and shining the videotapes. Am I wrong for having a cleaning woman? Are there people who use an invocation of my name to inspire fear and revulsion in their children?

I hope so.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Because I seem to react to the use of certain words angrily, I have been asked to present a list of words that bother me.

You may not use the following words:

******
****
****
****
****
***
************
*****
****
*******
*****
****’*
***-*****-****
*****
******
*****
**
*** *******
****(*)
**** ******
Episcop*lian

**** (*** **** **********)